New Years, New Beginnings

When 2016 started, I thought everything would be a bit better than 2015. I thought it would, somehow, heal all the pain, and the hurtful words. Well it did, in a way unimaginable.

Sometimes, we were just blinded by fantasies. We don't want to accept the fact that some things are falling apart, out of our control. So then we pretend that things are perfectly fine.

2016, whew, it has been a dreadful first half. I didn't think I would even make it (jk, I indulge self-pity). I was angry, mad, annoyed all the time. I thought I would be all grumpy, like it's going to be my new personality. But then with the help of prayer, and I make sure I talk to Him before I go to bed, I asked for strength and guidance. He didn't fail me. Eventually, I learned to slowly accept things and get my shit altogether.

Went out with my family and friends, landed on a job by the last quarter of 2016, and realized that there's more to life. I can finally say that I'm doing a lot better than I was early last year. I learned that not all things last, and if they seem perfectly working right now, doesn't mean they're not gonna fall out (yikes, reality bites!). Now, it depends on two people if they're willing to fight for these things, even if it's going to be painful.

I also learned that, during the process, you're gonna have to put yourself first. With oneself being weak, you're not gonna be able to make it.

Sometimes, I still tend to be mad. Mad with the world. Maybe because I still think of what could have been. But then, there's family. There's Ria. There are friends. There are these people who don't want anything in return, and who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

I won't be making any resolutions because just like promises, they're all meant to be broken. You just do what you gotta do. Change your routine. Act on your goals. Go after your dreams.

This year, I look forward to more hopeful things; new beginnings; another chance to be better and love life. Isa lang ang hiling ko, 2017, please naman, spoil me. I dedicated so much of myself to the wrong person the past years I've forgotten my self-worth. Embracing this year now with all my heart. #owningIT

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